Friday February 25, 2011: HRH Prince William and his soon-to-be bride Kate Middleton were visiting their alma mater, St. Andrews University in Scotland, the third-oldest university in the English-speaking world. Prince William was officially launching the 600th anniversary fundraiser for the university. The event was reported in The Guardian as well as other media worldwide.
This took place during those wonderful pre-Covid days when going to college was a real blast, with a vibrant social life taking center stage over academia, before face masks, social distancing and online classes squeezed out all the fun.
William and Kate had met each other when they were first-year students in the same Hall of Residence that my son now lived in—St. Salvator’s Hall, affectionately known as “Sallies.” The building’s oak paneled dining room was reminiscent of Hogwart’s, featuring a series of stained-glass windows commemorating founders and benefactors of St Andrews University. Sallies became known as the posh hall of residence after having housed a royal prince. It was an imposing building that backed onto the sea and some of the rooms had ocean views. My son found the best view was in the end stall of the communal bathroom near his room, which gave him a great incentive to spend a long time having his morning constitutional.
Will and Kate’s college relationship was immortalized in song by The Other Guys, an A Capella all-male ensemble at St Andrews. They produced Royal Romance: The Other Guys’ Official Royal Wedding Video, parodying Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance and showcasing the gorgeous architecture and scenery of St. Andrews.
At the time of the royal visit, my son was a second-year student and a member of the St. Salvator’s Hall Committee. One of his committee duties for the residence hall was to be the condom distributor. This later appeared as Sexual Health Liaison Officer on his job resumes, which wasn’t as much of an embellishment as it might appear. He had to participate in a National Health Service sexual health training program to take up the position. He learned to always offer lube with the condoms and was provided with a dildo-like model to demonstrate the proper use of the items he distributed to any hall residents that requested instruction. He had to turn some people away for demanding a condom lesson too many times.
The Hall Committee had planned to present Prince William with a St Salvator’s tie. These were made of heavy silk, decorated with St. Salvator’s Hall heraldic shields on a rich burgundy background. The ties had been produced as a special order on a small scale and were sold out. The very last one had been put aside for the Prince. When it came close to the time to make the presentation, that tie was nowhere to be found.
The head of the committee came up with a solution. He knew another committee member—my son—had bought one of the ties as he had been seen wearing it at committee meetings. He rushed up the staircase to my son’s room, hammered at his door and shouted, “Hey, do you have your tie?”
“Of course I have my tie, I love it. I wear it all the time,” was the reply.
“Give it to me now. We need it!”
My son didn’t want to part with the tie because he knew there were no more of them available and that he would never get another one. Persuaded by the gravity of the situation, he reluctantly agreed to give up the precious item. My son’s tie was quickly ironed to make it look new, and the official presentation was made. But lo and behold, just a few days later, after the royal couple had left St Andrews, the missing tie that was supposed to go to the Prince was found and given to my son. So in the end he got the brand-new tie that was meant for Prince William.
Thus, unbeknownst to the Prince, my son has swapped ties with him. What I’d like to know is this: has Prince William ever worn the one he received? Whenever I see photos of the Duke of Cambridge in the press, I always scrutinize his tie, in the hope that he’s wearing my son’s. I regret to say that thus far, I’ve never spotted those St. Salvator’s heraldic shields on any of the neckwear in which the Prince has appeared in public.
So what does my son think about this blog? I don’t know the answer to that question since he refuses to read my article so that he can plead plausible deniability. “If I do, I’ll only be telling you that what you’ve written is wrong and you’ll have to change it,” he insists.